A Minor Thought War

I have been contemplating the circumstances surrounding my current life and have found myself slipping into an existentialist crisis of sorts. It seems that I am in that place again; wondering what the heck an I doing. Most of the time I pass these thoughts along and don't give them too much thought. This time, however, I have met this "crisis" head-on at a cross roads that could very well dictate a large portion of my life from this point forward. Some might say, when reading this, that he's back in that place again and will soon return. Others would say this happens at times when other circumstances in one's life change dramatically. In response, I have found myself coming to grips or at least beginning to come to get a handle on my false innerself. Which is a scary thought.
Thomas Merton speaks about the false innerself as a relationship between we who are and who we aught to be. And in this case basic philosophical principles are in play: aught implies can. Because if we aught to be something then is well with in our capacity to become just that. Furthermore, Merton would identify the false innerself as someone who shouldn't be. Many questions follow. If I think that I aught to be something or someone but perhaps am beginning to think that that someone might be the false innerself telling me as such how should I, then, react? If, then, this is not my false innerself and really is who or what I am becoming then why do struggle with such things?
Mind you that God is in the mix. I know a God who is all loving, all caring, and only wants the best for his children. As a child of God I have come to realize these things to be true. This, however, doesn't not mean that can't mess up. And this is where the crisis rears its ugly head. In any attempt not to mess up, one may become paralysed with fear. This inability to move or act is a direct result from far too much thinking and probably not enough praying. God, however, is the God who is in the process with me.

If aught implies can, does can imply should, and does should dictate everything else?